Sep. 29th, 2005 | 03:08 pm
Sep. 12th, 2005 | 11:22 pm
music: Lovely, lovely silence!
I have to apologize. School is taking a lot of adjustment. Plus keeping the house up to a higher level than I'm used to, trying to keep Mike and the cats fed...
I'll get used to it soon. If nothing else, the exhaustion occasionally overcomes the insomnia.
Aug. 23rd, 2005 | 02:28 am
Aug. 11th, 2005 | 03:31 am
The migraine has broken, and I felt well enough to register for classes for the fall semester.
Big step. I normally only take one class at a time. Now it's three. *deep breath*
I can do it.
Jul. 30th, 2005 | 07:06 am
music: Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There (Album Version)
( I love my Secret Pal!Collapse )
I've also been working on some other stuff.
( One sock, and a bagCollapse )
Oh, because it amuses me...
( Here there be trolls...Collapse )
Jul. 15th, 2005 | 11:19 am
music: Matchbox Twenty - Back 2 Good
In knitting news, the pink and green yarn is in time out until it tells me what it wants to be when it grows up. I had a bad emotional night the other night, in which I frogged and cast on the sock four times. Then I handed Mike the sock yarn he had picked out at his first trip to the yarn store and told him to wind it for me.
Yeah. You know it's bad when I can't even wind my own yarn. But he claims he does a better job. And the swift and ballwinder are on his side of my desk. And...I think he enjoys it, really.
His socks, at this point, are brainless knitting. I'm in the middle of 54 rounds of stockinette. Whee. I think I could do this sock pattern in my sleep by now. So it's good when I'm having an upsetting week.
( See the socks?Collapse )
It's amusing me, though, that the blue/gray bit is making a swirl around the sock. Mike says he's okay with that. Which is good. I'm not ripping this out. I don't think I could stand it at this point. The yarn, if anyone is interested, is Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, colorway Mineshaft. Enough colors to keep me from wanting to stab the needles in my eyes, muted enough for Mike to wear. As I said earlier, he actually picked it out at Knit Happens. Makes me a happy knitter, knowing things that I make are not only appreciated, but actively sought.
And right now, I need to feel loved and wanted and necessary. I kind of feel like the Broken Miho that is my avatar. Going to this doctor always makes me feel very vulnerable. I'm not horribly comfortable with the idea of therapy and such, even if it's what's kept me functioning these past few years. And without some hope right now, I wouldn't be functional now. Not that I really am.
For those who care, my Prozac dosage has been doubled. If that doesn't help in a month, we'll add Welbutrin. And, in news that will probably not shock my parents, I have ADD. Or ADHD. I'm not sure if there's even a difference, or what it is. Anyway. So I'm on a trial of Adderall, first to see if it ADD (because I would be *really* drugged otherwise), and to see if it treats it.
And, in the past few days, I've been more focused. Unfortunately, I seem to be more focused on my misery, and things I've done wrong. Which has gotten me deeper, it seems, into the emotional hole. And leads to ripping out a sock four times, to the point where I had once giggled at it's adorable colors, I began to hate it. Which is why it's in the knitting bag, and I have...well, another sock that isn't precisely thrilling me, but it's not fighting me every step of the way. I even took it to the bank this morning, to knit in line, and got some compliments on it. I love the little bag that lets me knit while I'm standing, hanging right on my wrist. One of the best knitting purchases ever. That and the 5" Britany DPNs. Especially the spare set. I've also lost my working needle four times this week. I've found it three of those times. So...I think I need another backup set. But Mike's promised another KH trip, so...it can be done.
Anyway, it's almost 11:30 in the morning, and I haven't slept at all. I'd better get some rest if I'm going to go get Harry Potter tonight.
Jul. 12th, 2005 | 06:24 am
music: Matchbox Twenty - Push
Because I have the right to call this a Finished Object (FO) if I want to:
( But Tina, it's just a ball of yarn!Collapse )
Maybe it's just a ball of yarn, but I spent two DAYS unknotting this yarn. It's from a Target kit, and it was just wrapped around a piece of cardboard in the container. *sigh* So here it is, all untangled and wound into a (hopefully) well-behaved ball.
Oh, and the promised last picture from the last post:
( Bright sock ahead!Collapse )
I don't know if I like it as is. I might find a new pattern. Stockinette socks are getting boring...
Oh, and the doctor has hopefully straightened out my meds. I hope...
Jul. 11th, 2005 | 02:20 am
If you're still reading, and you don't know...I have social anxiety disorder. And lately, I've had a major whop of depression. I'm also having a relapse on the anxiety. Not good. Mike's taking me in to the doctor tomorrow, where we will talk about how I'm feeling, and what we can do about it. I'd say I'm nervous, but I'm actually scared sick. The last time my medication was adjusted...wasn't pretty.
So, of course, his sock yarn tangles. I get frustrated, realize I need to do something that makes me happy, and I pull this out:
( Knit Happens Colorway - HankCollapse )
It's a hank of Lorna's Laces Sheperd Sock, dyed specifically for my favorite yarn store. And the colors make me giggle. Mike did the winding honors, and now it looks like this:
( KH - BallCollapse )
I only have four rounds of ribbing on the needles right now, but I'll take a picture tomorrow when it's got more definition. So far, it's bright and happy and making me giggle like a schoolgirl. Which is what I desperately need right now, along with the friends I have, who are supporting me through this issue. Most of all, my dear Mike. I love you, Michael.
Jul. 4th, 2005 | 05:58 am
music: The lovely, lovely sound of the fans blowing
( Defiance KnittingCollapse )
Sock for Becky, first of a pair. Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock on size 1 Britany Birch DPNs. I use these needles for all my socks. Of course, at Denny's this morning, Mike wanted to use one of them as a toothpick...
And, since it's still too hot to think, as the compressor on our AC has blown and it will be Tuesday before they know if it's replacable under warranty or if we need to buy a new unit, I started the second:
( Socky, part twoCollapse )
I wish I could sleep...