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Moving...

Sep. 29th, 2005 | 03:08 pm

I'm moving my blog back to my personal website. Everyone, point yourselves at http://www.foogrrl.com/blog/

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*collapse*

Sep. 12th, 2005 | 11:22 pm
mood: exhausted exhausted
music: Lovely, lovely silence!

Wow, I'm behind on entries.

I have to apologize.  School is taking a lot of adjustment.  Plus keeping the house up to a higher level than I'm used to, trying to keep Mike and the cats fed...

*collapse*

I'll get used to it soon.  If nothing else, the exhaustion occasionally overcomes the insomnia.

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Sorry I've been absent lately

Aug. 23rd, 2005 | 02:28 am
mood: nervous nervous

But I start classes again tomorrow!

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Yeah, I know, no updates

Aug. 11th, 2005 | 03:31 am

Depression has made way for insomnia, and then for a three day sinus migraine.  Absolutely no knitting has been done whatsoever.

The migraine has broken, and I felt well enough to register for classes for the fall semester. 

Big step.  I normally only take one class at a time.  Now it's three.  *deep breath*

I can do it.

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It's been awhile...

Jul. 30th, 2005 | 07:06 am
mood: indescribable indescribable
music: Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There (Album Version)

Yeah, I know. It's been a rough time here. Not a lot of knitting going on with the depression. But today (well, now yesterday) has been better. Want to know why?

I love my Secret Pal! )

I've also been working on some other stuff.

One sock, and a bag )

Oh, because it amuses me...

Here there be trolls... )

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Yes, in fact, I'm still awake

Jul. 15th, 2005 | 11:19 am
mood: exhausted exhausted
music: Matchbox Twenty - Back 2 Good

See the title.  Errands that had to be done today, and with my sleeping patterns, I didn't see them getting done if I went to bed.

In knitting news, the pink and green yarn is in time out until it tells me what it wants to be when it grows up.  I had a bad emotional night the other night, in which I frogged and cast on the sock four times.  Then I handed Mike the sock yarn he had picked out at his first trip to the yarn store and told him to wind it for me.

Yeah.  You know it's bad when I can't even wind my own yarn.  But he claims he does a better job.  And the swift and ballwinder are on his side of my desk.  And...I think he enjoys it, really.

His socks, at this point, are brainless knitting.  I'm in the middle of 54 rounds of stockinette.  Whee.  I think I could do this sock pattern in my sleep by now.  So it's good when I'm having an upsetting week.

See the socks? )

It's amusing me, though, that the blue/gray bit is making a swirl around the sock.  Mike says he's okay with that.  Which is good.  I'm not ripping this out.  I don't think I could stand it at this point.  The yarn, if anyone is interested, is Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, colorway Mineshaft.  Enough colors to keep me from wanting to stab the needles in my eyes, muted enough for Mike to wear.  As I said earlier, he actually picked it out at Knit Happens.  Makes me a happy knitter, knowing things that I make are not only appreciated, but actively sought.

And right now, I need to feel loved and wanted and necessary.  I kind of feel like the Broken Miho that is my avatar.  Going to this doctor always makes me feel very vulnerable.  I'm not horribly comfortable with the idea of therapy and such, even if it's what's kept me functioning these past few years.  And without some hope right now, I wouldn't be functional now.  Not that I really am.

For those who care, my Prozac dosage has been doubled.  If that doesn't help in a month, we'll add Welbutrin.  And, in news that will probably not shock my parents, I have ADD.  Or ADHD.  I'm not sure if there's even a difference, or what it is.  Anyway.  So I'm on a trial of Adderall, first to see if it ADD (because I would be *really* drugged otherwise), and to see if it treats it.

And, in the past few days, I've been more focused.  Unfortunately, I seem to be more focused on my misery, and things I've done wrong.  Which has gotten me deeper, it seems, into the emotional hole.  And leads to ripping out a sock four times, to the point where I had once giggled at it's adorable colors, I began to hate it.  Which is why it's in the knitting bag, and I have...well, another sock that isn't precisely thrilling me, but it's not fighting me every step of the way.  I even took it to the bank this morning, to knit in line, and got some compliments on it.  I love the little bag that lets me knit while I'm standing, hanging right on my wrist.  One of the best knitting purchases ever.  That and the 5" Britany DPNs.  Especially the spare set.  I've also lost my working needle four times this week.  I've found it three of those times. So...I think I need another backup set.  But Mike's promised another KH trip, so...it can be done.

Anyway, it's almost 11:30 in the morning, and I haven't slept at all.  I'd better get some rest if I'm going to go get Harry Potter tonight.

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Becky, if anyone, will care...

Jul. 12th, 2005 | 06:24 am
mood: accomplished accomplished
music: Matchbox Twenty - Push

Because I have the right to call this a Finished Object (FO) if I want to:

But Tina, it's just a ball of yarn! )

Maybe it's just a ball of yarn, but I spent two DAYS unknotting this yarn.  It's from a Target kit, and it was just wrapped around a piece of cardboard in the container.  *sigh*  So here it is, all untangled and wound into a (hopefully) well-behaved ball.

Oh, and the promised last picture from the last post:

Bright sock ahead! )

I don't know if I like it as is.  I might find a new pattern.  Stockinette socks are getting boring...

Oh, and the doctor has hopefully straightened out my meds.  I hope...

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Happy Yarn

Jul. 11th, 2005 | 02:20 am
mood: loved loved

We have AC back, but I'm down in the dumps today. Mike took me to Knit Happens to buy him some sock yarn, but I got sick on the way home, then was too ill to actually eat dinner with my sister, Becky, and her boyfriend. I had started his sock, but it wasn't meshing. I came home and worked on a bunch of tangled yarn, which still didn't do it for me. Then I fell apart.

If you're still reading, and you don't know...I have social anxiety disorder. And lately, I've had a major whop of depression. I'm also having a relapse on the anxiety. Not good. Mike's taking me in to the doctor tomorrow, where we will talk about how I'm feeling, and what we can do about it. I'd say I'm nervous, but I'm actually scared sick. The last time my medication was adjusted...wasn't pretty.

So, of course, his sock yarn tangles. I get frustrated, realize I need to do something that makes me happy, and I pull this out:

Knit Happens Colorway - Hank )

It's a hank of Lorna's Laces Sheperd Sock, dyed specifically for my favorite yarn store.  And the colors make me giggle.  Mike did the winding honors, and now it looks like this:

KH - Ball )

I only have four rounds of ribbing on the needles right now, but I'll take a picture tomorrow when it's got more definition.  So far, it's bright and happy and making me giggle like a schoolgirl. Which is what I desperately need right now, along with the friends I have, who are supporting me through this issue.  Most of all, my dear Mike.  I love you, Michael.

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Defiance Knitting

Jul. 4th, 2005 | 05:58 am
mood: hot hot
music: The lovely, lovely sound of the fans blowing

The AC has been broken since Tuesday or Thursday.  It's been hotter than can be believed in the house.  And yet, I still knit.

Defiance Knitting )

Sock for Becky, first of a pair.  Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock on size 1 Britany Birch DPNs.  I use these needles for all my socks.  Of course, at Denny's this morning, Mike wanted to use one of them as a toothpick...

And, since it's still too hot to think, as the compressor on our AC has blown and it will be Tuesday before they know if it's replacable under warranty or if we need to buy a new unit, I started the second:

Socky, part two )

I wish I could sleep...

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Weblog Survey

Jul. 2nd, 2005 | 01:47 am

Take the MIT Weblog Survey

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No motiviation

Jul. 1st, 2005 | 07:06 pm
mood: hot hot

The AC has been out for four days now.  I'm not motivated at all to knit or write.  Allegedly, there's a guy on the way to fix it now.

I can only hope.

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Sock #2

Jun. 23rd, 2005 | 07:34 am

You know, in the what, three days and one hour since I posted last, I've knitted a whole sock.

I just finished turning the heel on the other sock's mate.  Because, again, I can't sleep.  And when I can't sleep, I'd rather be productive.

No pictures this morning, just passing time until I can call the doctor.  Because I can't put it off any longer.  *sigh*  Anyway, this sock is almost identical to the first.  Except there's a little bit more blue on the heel.

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Differences in attitude

Jun. 20th, 2005 | 06:22 am
mood: enthralled enthralled

I don't know what it is, but my attitude towards a project seems to affect how it knits up.  Most of the first gray sock went pretty well, because I was knitting it for Mike.  I knew Mike would appreciate it, since he had requested plain gray socks.  But when they got reassigned as a gift for his father, I started feeling stressed, nervous, and a little, well, resentful.  And the second sock wore me out.  There was no end of problems with it.  Even the almost stupidly simple slip 1, knit 1 repeat of the heel flap gave me problems beyond belief.  We won't talk about how many times I had to tink rows because I screwed that up, and was ending up with a slipped stitch at the end.

Now, in contrast, I finally have something for myself on the needles.  For the first time since I picked up knitting again.  Everything else has gone to Mike.  Yes, even the gray socks.  I had him try them on to see if they'd be a good approximate fit for his father, and he declared that he loved them too much to let them go.  So...yeah.  Anyway.  Socks for me, in a colorway that makes me pretty happy.  Not as happy, mind you, as the Opal 5001 I showed you a few posts ago, but still, cheerful.  I like rainbows.  This doesn't have purple, but if it did, I might be too happy with it.  And the knitting is going along wonderfuly.  The biggest mistake I've made with it?  Hold your breath, people.  I forgot to put my row counter in my sock bag when Mike and I went out to dinner tonight.  Yeah, I know.

I guess attitude really is important.  Of course, mind you that I'm thinking of this at 6am, with no sleep, after a fairly large adult beverage.  No longer tipsy, just sleepy.  Trust me.  I've learned not to drink and knit.

Oh, you wanted pictures? )

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Happy Socks!

Jun. 19th, 2005 | 03:21 am

Finally, something for me.

Happy Socks! )

I'm loving these so far.  :)

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Squee!

Jun. 17th, 2005 | 12:12 pm
mood: bouncy bouncy

I have the best Secret Pal ever! )

This was on my doorstep today!  My favorite colors together in sock yarn, and the needles to knit it with, and a lovely card. Thank you, Secret Pal!

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One of those days...weeks...whatever.

Jun. 16th, 2005 | 06:56 am
mood: disappointed disappointed
music: Good Charlotte - Hold On

No avoiding the idea.  I'm depressed again.

Hard to avoid the conclusion when I spent the entire evening crying over...well, nothing, really.  I feel lousy, and nothing really makes me happy.  Even knitting, as it's now deadline knitting, and the project is boring as hell.  Want to see?

Boring Gray Sock and Friends )

This isn't second-sock syndrome, either.  The first sock was just long, but a breeze.  The second isn't boring at all.  How can it be when I keep having problems with it?  Last night/yesterday morning about 5am I noticed while turning the heel that the number of stitches on either side of my turn didn't look even.  Nope.  One side was missing two.  I look back at the heel flap, and they had slipped off the needle rows before.  So...frog.  And then I found out that one shouldn't frog at 5am after a bout with raging insomnia.  Mike finally dragged me off to bed, alerted to my state by the loud cursing.  I might have, well, told the sock to do something physically impossible.  Loud enough that the neighbors might have heard.  Ugh.

But today, after realizing that I was never going to get it directly back on the needles, as the loops were pretending to be too small to fit on the thing, I realized that I am, in fact, smarter than a sock.  I took some craft wire that I had sitting around for another project, cut some, and filed the end to be smooth.  Normally I would have used a smaller needle, but I don't have anything smaller than a 1.  I used the smoothed wire to pick up the stitches, and then went on to knit with it behaving.

Hah.  We won't talk about how I accidentally picked up an extra two stitches.  Meh.  I really don't think a non-knitter is going to look closely enough to see the decreases.  *grin*

And it's 7am now and I'm going to bed.

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As promised, Fuzzyfeet!

Jun. 12th, 2005 | 12:04 am
mood: depressed depressed

Here they are before... )

And after! )

Mike is much better now.  He just needs to cut back on the caffeine and get more sleep, and less stress.  Now someone just tell his work that, since he had a surprise thirteen hour day yesterday...

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Stress...

Jun. 9th, 2005 | 03:50 am
mood: exhausted exhausted

Well, Mike was in the ER last night with chest pains.  It seems to be a recurring theme in my life.  Luckily, I grabbed my knitting back on the way out the door, so I had something useful to do while we waited.

Of course, this means I forgot my purse.  How typical of me.

I finished the second Fuzzyfoot, and they got felted tonight.  They're blocking now on Mike's feet.

Pictures hopefully tomorrow.  We'll see how it goes.

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It's been awhile

Jun. 5th, 2005 | 01:13 am
mood: listless listless
music: Trans-Siberian Orchestra - I'll Keep Your Secrets

I know I haven't put up an update lately.  So sorry.

Came back from Mayland, ended up with a summer cold.  Meh.

Got both socks done.  Turns out they're too big on me, but just perfect on Mike, and now he wants more.  C'est la vie.  But he did order me a swift and ballwinder, so I'm happy with him.  In fact, on the needles right now is another sock for him, in grey Fortissima Socka, and a pair of Fuzzyfeet, in Bulldog Blue Lamb's Pride Worsted.

So I'm keeping busy, even when I'm not feeling well.  Oh, and knitting with size 13 dpns is a real hoot after switching from size 1.  I had to go up to get gauge on the Fuzzyfeet.  It was also amusing going to my LYS today and buying:  one book on socks, one ball of Plymouth Sockotta, and one set of size 13 needles.  The woman who rang me up looked at me and asked if I had sock needles at home.  I assured her I did, but I was amused for awhile after that.  I vaguely like blowing people's heads up.

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Secret Pal 5 Questionaire

May. 30th, 2005 | 11:02 pm

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

Yes, I am.  I can't stand acrylics. *shudder*

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

I'd like to learn to spin.  Crochet makes me mental, though.

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)

Heavy purfumes give me headaches.

4. How long have you been knitting?

On and off for about five years.  Combined, maybe a year's worth of actual knitting.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

Yes, I do  http://amazon.com/gp/registry/293HUWNFG2VS3

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

Vanilla

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Definitely.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

I occasionally make soap or chainmail.  Also do some origami.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I have really wierd tastes, but I'm willing to listen to anything.  Yes, I can play MP3s.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?

My very favorite is a deep purple.  Also black.  I'm not fond of orange/reds.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

Married, no kids, four cats.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)

To get my house organized so I have tons of time to knit. 

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?

I haven't actually knit more than a swatch with it yet, but I'm in love with KnitPick's Elegance.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

Acrylic.  That's about it.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?

I just finished my first pair of socks, so that's big on my mind right now.  But I really want to try some simple lace, as well.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?

Anything beautiful and practical.

17. What are you knitting right now?

I just finished some socks, so I'm about to start...more socks.

18. What do you think about ponchos?

I'm sure they're nice and warm and useful and all, but I don't get it.  Even if my husband points out that Luke Skywalker wore one.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?

Definitely circular.  Much easier on my wrists.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

I used to think I wasn't really picky.  But I just got my first set of Britany Birch needles, and I want to marry them.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

Yep.  Haven't you been paying attention?

22. How did you learn to knit?

A wierd combination of those "Learn to Knit" books and some websites.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

I actually don't have any, since I just picked up knitting again to keep my sanity.  I do have some yarn that might never be knitted, though.  I'm thinking about putting it in a nice basket on display.  The colors make me so happy the way it's dyed in the hank.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

I love my cats.  I can't speak for anyone else's.  *smile*

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Christmas.  Even if it doesn't make me as happy as it used to.

26. Is there anything that you collect?

Besides yarn?

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

None at the moment, but I'm tempted to subscribe to Interweave Knits.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?

Refer to my Amazon wish list.

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